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Friday, January 19, 2007

Why do they hate me? woooaaaaa ..sob.. sob..


Last couple of days have been different. When I enter the office these days, I no longer hear questions like which brand of liquor will Salman endorse in his new Devdas avatar after Ash marriage or was the visit to Varanasi temple by the big B familily a cleansing ritual for Ash after the liplock scene with Hritik in Doom 2, but these days its..what are the odds of Danielle Lloyd(of Big brother fame) calling our bollywood tinsel town "babe" Shilpa Shetty(now of big brother fame) a pig?

Its amazing how there is such a emotional upsurge in our country when a bollywood actress is involved..firstly with 24*7(almost) live coverage of Aishwarya's engagement saga. Such was the coverage that it took a personal request from big B himself to convince the camera crew to at least blur parts of footage which was shot while Abhishek was taking a leak in between the engagement and I was personally unhappy and felt let-down by the government because a national holiday was not declared on account of such a important occasion and now the whole Indian media Juggernaut is all guns against Big Brother. How dare some moron calls our babe a dog? Our babe and dog!! Maa Kasam! Woh milgaya tho, Main uska koon peejaunga uska koon test karake peejaunga(there goes another enlightened citizen, thanks to "Know AIDS, No AIDS campaign on Doordarshan)...

So what is this Big Brother show?

Its pretty simple contest, you hand pick a bunch of half wits, generally less than 15, lock them up in a house that has nothing that belongs to the era after Adam&Eve(no pen, pencil, mobile, music players etc..), for say couple of fortnights and film every move they make so that the rest of half-wits who were not fortunate enough to qualify can derive voyeuristic pleasure watching the film. If any participant is unable to deliver that punch(something similar to e-orgasm or i-orgasm depending on who is reading) to the viewers then he is voted out of the competition and the one left out at last wins loads of cash.

Is it sleazy? I mean is there racism and content that needs to be watched only after all at home are asleep?

you are kidding right? Who knows such things, only Sharmila Tagor(i.e. if its beamed in India). But from what I heard, the show packs in a healthy dose of sex, nudity and "borderline" pornography. Today we can add racism to this enviable list.

So why did our bollywood babe take part in spite of the reputation of the show?

With our babe's career almost over in Bollywood, she was looking for alternate way to earn her livelihood and 3 crores plus 25000 pounds, hey common you understand right, its hard to resist such things and for our babe it was good enough to shove the previous reputation aside. But I wont say that..nope its not in our culture to say such things. So here is the "Andar ki baath" as to why she accepted to participate.
there exist a organization called "Vishnu Sena" which has the whole and sole responsibility of saving and propagating Indian culture. After a high level meeting the saviors of Indian culture realized that there is very less representation from India in Briton. So they decided to send our babe to participate in this high visibility show as a representative of the Indian/Asian community. But our babe refused on the grounds of self-respect and dignity. So left with no choice Vishnu sena kidnapped babe's great great grand father and demanded that she need to take the 3 crore and participate in the contest. Rest as we all know is history.

When sick things were told against our country Why didn't our babe say anything?

Shilpa feels that she represents the Indian/Asian community and doesn't want to let them or herself down by retaliating...wow let me read that again. Look at it and we crib that our value system is breaking down. Again as we are Indians and the whole values thing that's inculcated in me is holding me back from saying; "represents the Indian/Asian community", bull shit. She does not represent me or my country, she went there to better her cash flow position.

What are the positives to come out from whole of this episode?

- As they say there is no better publicity than bad publicity..so Probably the biggest outcome of all this is our babe is going to win...Yepeeeeeeee.

- J*** T**** is a dolt with brains no bigger than the size of a pea. You hold and shake him, the sound thats produced when his brain strikes the inner wall of the skull can put even the Big Ben to shame. I personally feel Indian government need to gift him a atlas free of cost and teach him that babe is from India and India is not the same as "Paki"

- Really love the easiness with which you can vote some one out..I guess it would be a fine addition to our constitution..send a sms and give a laath to our non performing ministers


Look at this case, you have people burning effigies of housemates, PMO office and Ministry of External affairs voicing their concerns, Online petition being signed, Ofcom receiving highest number of complaints(not even Saddam's last video could achieve this fete), this issue being discussed in British parliament. But I wonder why the same billion voices which are crying for justice and equality for our babe get stubbed the moment we talk about the in numerable cases of discrimination based on cast, creed, language, sex, colour and what not that happen in our own backyard?

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