Prashant's Weblog
Random Brain "Droppings" of yet another software engineer







Sunday, January 21, 2007

Baawla hua re, Bajji Baawla hua re....


Hindu reports that Harbhajan Singh was having a special session with a bio-mechanical expert during a practice session at Nagpur. Holy cow! A BIO-MECHANICAL EXPERT! to me it sounds like a person who is transported from year 2020 to present time. I am truly impressed. On one hand I am impressed at the level of sophistication that we get to see in our cricket team these days.But on the other hand it was feeling of bitter disappointment..just one expert! Looking at our teams performance in South Africa I believe there is certainly scope for more experts. I say the A Grade contract that Bajji has got should include the service of these experts as a part of compensation deal...

Rajma...that too home cooked Rajma and if you throw in some rice..hoi hoi hoi. Now Rajma and Chawal being favorite of our Bajji also, a Nutritional Biochemistry expert along with Structural Molecular Biology expert and Enzymology expert are a must. They will analyze how bajji's body will break down the rajma chawal he had eaten previous day and they will also be responsible for making sure that Bajji has all required supplements that can digest rajma and chawal in case his body enzymes fall short.

Biomaterials expert who would suggest the best shoe material so as to minimize the risk of slipping when he accidentally steps on a rotten orange which will be aimed at him by a spectator if he gets clobbered for six either by Lara or Jayasuriya or both

Computer aided Modeling and Simulations expert who can do a predictive analysis of most likely places where Bajji's ball is going to go when clobbered by West Indies or Sri Lankan batsman. This report is going to be shared with Captain Dravid and coach Greg so that they know the places where they cannot place Bajji for fielding. Last news is that Dravid and Greg are taking this matter very seriously. They are skipping their practice sessions and spending more and more time with these experts working out all possible scenarios where Bajji can be subjected to "Nagpur-rotten-orange" attack. Behavior Profiling experts and group behavior experts will also be called in to mitigate this risk.

Decision-Making-techniques experts will educate Bajji on various coin tossing and dice tossing techniques by which Bajji can decide what ball to bowl next. Experts believe if these techniques are brought into practice by Bajji it will at least bring in some logic to otherwise clueless blowing he does these days.

Deficiencies-in-Nonverbal-Language experts will help Bajji with non-verbal cues that he needs to demonstrate so as to cheat the captain into thinking that he is still confident of picking up that crucial wicket and needs to get full quota of overs.

SO inspite of all this expert guidance, running commentary will still say
Harbhajan Singh to Lara, SIX, this time Harbhajan bowls a delivery a bit wider and a bit slow,Lara who had decided to go for the sweep,but when sees the juicey ball, the elevation and the distance duly obliges by pulling it away over the ropes

....so much for BIO-MECHANICAL EXPERT.

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